Love Letter #63: The Baby Game

This Autumn, I’m writing a series of love letters: to the Universe, to myself, to friends and family, to strangers. Sometimes these are public, and sometimes private, but always from the heart. Here is today’s letter. We've been down this road before, haven't we?

You know, that road where it seems like everyone around you is either pregnant, having a baby, or talking about children ...

It's not a bad place to be. Honestly! Someday, you will find yourself wishing you could still have these honest conversations, these debates on the ethics of bringing children into an over-populated world, the realities on the cost of rearing children in America, the possibilities of adopting children from other countries and the ramifications of raising children who potentially face discrimination (in any way) because society still perceives them as "other."

But not today.

Today, you are wondering if that maternal instinct makes you a breeder. You are smiling at the little girl celebrating her first birthday at a coffee shop, just a few tables over, with grandparents from three sides. You are considering the photography of a pregnant belly, the extra curves and lines and the drape of fabric over all that round-ness. You are remembering the joy of new parents bringing home their son for the very first time, travelling thousands of miles to build their family.

You're trying to figure out how to congratulate your ex-girlfriend on the birth of her son, when she won't even be in the same room as you.

You're trying to decide what the next step is.

For now, just breathe. Know that you aren't really in a place you need to make a decision. Know that you have all the time in the world. And, that when you're ready to talk about it, you know who to call.

Until then, don't worry that time is running out. Because what is time, anyway?

Love, your uterus

{Are you asking the "should I?" questions? If so, check out Randi Buckley's new offering, Maybe Baby? She's got advice and ideas from some of the biggest and brightest minds, and registration is only open for one more week! Join in now to make peace with your decision with love and trust.}